


Sometimes, I wonder why

by Vampire_goth_girl



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Past Relationships, Sad, jasper has a personal pearl, jasper perspective, mentions of the diamonds, the return
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 17:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13369602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampire_goth_girl/pseuds/Vampire_goth_girl
Summary: A different take on why jasper removed her helmet in the return to headbutt steven/rose





	Sometimes, I wonder why

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is plausible given the sadder/softer/vulnerable side of jasper we've seen and I honestly think there's not enough fics where she's not just an semi-emotionless brute 
> 
> This was written in the later months of last year under sudden inspiration, sorry it took so long to post but hopefully at least the jasper lovers will enjoy this

I thought seeing her again would be different, that I'd be ready. Ready to capture her and take her back to home world where she could pay for what she had done 

For turning her back on everyone, on her diamond, fellow soldiers and me... Why did she leave me behind, maybe now I'll know. No nows not the time to think about it, I'm over it 

I am the perfect quartz soldier and it's my duty to bring in this traitor so I must forget about the past, about our past and move on

After this I will go back to home world, to congratulations and my pearl. I will forget about all of this and be bored until my next mission comes up, I'll go fight and maybe drain away a little of that bloodlust she always hated. Then I'll return to a planet that cherishes it and to a pearl that's proud to be mine, to a pearl that will do as I say 

She will comfort me and allow me to lavish her with my being, she will call me a brute, an animal but will take me all the same as she sings my praise. She's different to you which is to be expected, she was made right on home world 

She's a top quality pearl formed with a beautiful amber colour like the honey on earth, I wonder sometimes if I were to fail if they'd all still want me. If my sweet pearl would welcome me back with open arms or if she'd turn her pointed nose up at me 

I wonder if you'd accept me again if I failed, would you finally tell me why at least. Why you left me behind and started a rebellion when you whispered so sweetly that you loved me only the night before 

Why you would shatter the diamond that let us love or why you chose to defend this earth without me, was it truly more important then everything 

As I stand here looking down at what you've become, it hurts a little. I've grown up so much since our time together, I'm no longer the impulsive jasper you knew but you are also not my rose

Your small, you've become weak, the opposite of how we use to be. I wonder what you see now that I'm the perfect quartz soldier, do you finally see how I gleam now that home world has polished me 

Your the reason I took this job to come to earth, I could of stayed at home with pearl and yet after all this time I was still compelled back to this planet, to your side. Only now I think I can finally find a little closure, your not who you use to be and I like to think I'm not either

Yet still you draw weakness from me cause for any other I wouldn't of removed my shield, though for you who struggles so helplessly I guess it's a farewell to who we were. When my forehead makes contact with yours it's not how it use to be and I fear my gem will shatter from holding you so close when your like this

It's all just an illusion though, much like you now and I know this to be true, after all you yourself taught me so. On the battlefield of earth were my feelings conflicted and for the past thousands of years I've spent under another diamonds reign

Soon though this will all end and finally I'll be able to shine my brightest. We will return to home world, you will go off to meet your fate and I will get the praise I deserve for making it so

Then when it's all over I will return to the place I've called home since you ruined ours and I will take my pearl in my arms. She will let me lavish her and when she says she loves me she will mean it like you once did so long ago 

Then when morning breaks with your gem, my pearl will sing and you... Rose quartz will be no more then shattered shards I will use to rebuild my own heart


End file.
